No posts recently. But should I have expected? Pushing my Scott-brand reel mower in eighty degree heat takes a lot out of me. I set the bottom for a 2 inch cut, a little ambitious given my 7 inch grass. The first row felt fine, but by row three, sweat stings my eyes. Through my fogging glasses, I can see, maybe 5/6 of my lawn still to go.
My new neighbor looked over at me, said hello, and left. Kids in the backseat. Probably had some sort of school event to go to. I wonder what he's going to do when summer vacation starts.
I'm a stubborn bastard. When I told Mother Dearest I bought one of those old-fashioned, people-powered mowers, she shot me disgust in a single twist of her lip.
"Why would you go and buy something like that?"
Because I wanted to. Now I am committed to it. So I shove my shoulder into that foam-cushioned handle and jam the rotor teeth right into that disgusting forest. Every damn inch forward is a damn vindication.
Half an hour later, done! And not too shabby, either. A mostly even, 2.5 inch on a 45 foot by 130 foot lot.
I come in the door, and curse. My AC doesn't work. Not enough airflow through the vents. I've tested the system, it can cycle, but the thermostat budges a degree at most. Possibly needs a recharge, too.
But I don't have time for that, because I am slapping some extra shelving in the kitchen. I take some Molly bolts, sink them right into the drywall, and, BAM, three cabinets worth of space finds a new home on the wall.
Basically, life's busy.
A few hours, I fall into bed, warmer than I'd like, and body dead enough to fool a mortician.
But why lie about my life?
I am loving my quaint little suburb. Right after close, my Wife and I drove to the house, to officially...er...."break it in." Still fumbling with the keys, an 80-something year old man called out and introduced himself. He had lived next door since the 1950s, saw the neighborhood spring to life around him, and planted trees now forty-five feet tall.
The day we moved in, one of our neighbors walked straight across three open yards to meet my Wife and my family. The next day, we sat down to picnic with our neighbors. They have three daughters, ranging from a year to middle school aged. They invited us to watch a Blackhawks game with them the next night, and gave us some gas for our lawn mower and weed wacker.
Note: The first cut of the season was with Father's self-propelled mower. The grass was about fourteen inches tall by the time we found our footing. A little tough for a reel mower....
Apparently our neighbors across the street are planning a block party, probably in the next month or so. There's a second block party down the street. We walked to Mass on Sunday, only 4 doors down. On Thursday, my Wife, Jenna, and I all took a jog downtown, only a mile across quiet residential streets.
You know how they say "It gets better"? Yep. Sometimes it's true. I can remember some truly dark days when even my so-called friends looked upon me like a rabid dog, when I spent 2 years unemployed, when the only thing ballooing faster than my waist-line were the suicidal thoughts in my head.
Alllllll lonnnnggggggg gone.
Sometimes I like to think how my current co-workers see me. I strolled into this office a tad over 200 pounds, wearing tatty shoes, single, smelling, not funny. I'm a married guy now, I'm a tad over 180 but pack a lot more muscle, and keep my clothes sleek, neat, ironed, and color-matched.
Yeah, a little bit, I suppose. My mind handles stress better these days. I am less likely to become enraged at traffic. I am more open-minded and willing to listen: nothing beats bloody humility in your mind like trying to hang shelves and barely knowing what a stud is.
But more than that, what helped me out is a little something called the Red Pill. What really killed me in my high school, college, post-college years was what might be called a basic lack of social skills, especially those involving the opposite sex.
You can't have a life without friends, or lovers. You just can't. What are you going to spend your time doing? Staring at a wall? It's one thing to pull a Thoreau and bury yourself in a cabin surrounded by woods when you have a life to return to. It's another when you resign yourself to total hermit-dom.
Red Pill pulled back the veil for me. The Red Pill speakers pulled back the curtain of noxious lies and exposed an unvarnished instinctual factory called the female mind. At first, the truth kicked me in the gut, but once I took the lessons, and applied them to my life, I saw that life could improve. I was not relegated to failure status. I could take control of my life, react to people on the level they communicated, and make things better.
Where I am today, cannot have been achieved without the knowledge of Red Pill thinkers. Roissy, Roosh, Rollo, Vox, Dalrock, etc....they've all delivered unto a society a functioning man behind a white picket fence, wearing a suit and prepared to face the world, on his own terms.
Note that the guys didn't tell me "you need to have a Wife, you need to have two kids, you need to buy a house." That's not what the Red Pill means. In fact, a lot of Red Pillers will tell you "don't get a wife, don't have kids, don't buy a house."
Basically, the exact opposite of what I actually....you know...did.
Is there a contradiction here? If I am such an adherent to Red Pill ideology, then how can I have a wife? Do I secretly hate her? I must abuse her, right? I can't REALLY want kids....if I want a house, it must be because I capitulated to my Wife, meaning I am a weak man, despite all my pretenses of Alpha-dom!
Here's the thing: There's no Red Pill ideology. Red Pill doesn't have a belief system. There's a set of axioms the Red Pills consider true, but that's different from Belief with a capital B. Belief with a capital B drives you to do something with your life, to believe that God has a plan, that America is the greatest country in the world, that Google should do no evil.
Red Pill doesn't have that, any more than Math does.
Ideology is separate from the Red Pill. You can definitely use Red Pill ideas to build an ideology, but Red Pill can lead to many different beliefs, in the end. That's where there is always such a huge divide between MGTOW, PUA, MRA, So-Cons, etc. A lot of guys have different ideas about how to change the world, and how to live their lives.
That's why I can buy a house and have a wife and other guys might just live out the back of a cab and bang strippers the rest of their lives, and all of us can be Red Pill together.
I DO have beliefs, that are Separate from the Red Pill, and different from what a lot of Red Pillers believe. I think fiat money and fractional reserve banking are great things. I think it's okay to have Medicare and Medicaid. I think Climate Change is real and caused by humans. I think....
Okay, let's spin away from the random political thoughts.
I like my neighborhood. I think it's something to strive towards and something that can be preserved and the cultural rot we've experienced can be rolled back. I believe my chosen life, of home ownership, marriage, and children, contributes positively to society, in a way that the Mystery Method lifestyle doesn't, and I believe it's a good deal for men if we can teach them to make it work.
Not all of this stuff has voice in the Red Pill sphere, in fact of lot would be met with absolute disgust, but that's ideology, and that's what I believe in.
That doesn't make me less Red Pill.