Scribblerg posed the question on Rollo's blog.
I think a lot of women feel similarly disoriented in this “modern” world of the Strong Independent Woman. Reading Deida and seeing you weren’t crazy, it’s interesting to hear how disoriented a woman can be made by this whacked out society.
Why the hell are we letting this happen to the world? Who is it working for? Old battle axe feminists? Young ones? Ask yourself, how many radfems/social justice warrior types do you know who are even happy?
I thought about his question, and my thoughts required something longer than a blog comment.
Feminism adds value to the average woman's life. A woman's support for feminism is not irrational. They do wish to submit to high-value men but feminism and the liberated society increases the likelihood of meeting such a man and breaking bonds should such a man NOT meet her standards.
Most importantly, Feminism gives her Options. Second, Feminism gives her Time. Third, Feminism gives her Hedonism (or at least a rationalization for wanton pleasure).
II. The Beta Life
My arguments come from my own personal experience. Therefore, your social circle may not resemble mine. Relevant attributes of my social circle:
-Highly Educated. Minimum bachelor's, majority earn post-teritiary degrees.
-High income families.
-Largely white, some ethnic South and East Asians.
-Irreligious for the most part.
Essentially, the kind of Yuppie crowd that voted enthusiastically for Barrack Obama and now wants to #FeeltheBern.
So let's start with the two major criticisms. At least with regards to finding good men.
The major criticisms leveled at Feminism are the Beta-fication of men, along with the encouraging Strong, Independent Women.
Both of these kill any chance of finding meaningful relationships for any length of time.
From my on-the-ground perspective, both of these problems are somewhat overblown.
III. Contrary to popular belief, good guys still exist:
Most of my social circle has drifted into some sort of marriage-drifting LTR at this point or has actively been married. These men are not your typical, whining Betas. They are Vox deltas for the most part, but have enough disposable income to dress nicely, socialize, and hold interesting hobbies.
They aren't super-handy, but they can lend a hand around the house. They generally cook better than women, they hold down jobs, and you can take them home to see Mom and Dad.
Women generally like them, at least somewhat. They aren't guys who pull lots of girls, but girls do generally like them.
I actually think this is the best generation of men ever. Unless you want a niche man....say, a really religious man, or a really handy man, or a military veteran, which may have gotten harder to find....this generation of men produces, on average, the best quality any woman in history would ever get.
Why all the bemoaning about where the good men have gone?!
We'll get back to that.
IV. Contrary to popular belief, girls enjoying being Feminine, and know they like it:
I only know two women who fit the archtype of SIW.
They both identify, proudly, as feminist.
They both write a lot, dance a lot, etc.
They are both overweight.
They are both ugly as sin.
They are both single.
Other than those two extremely ugly women, most of the women I know treat their men with care and deference. They never belittle their men in public, they generally follow the man's lead, they enjoy cooking for their men, they enjoy caring for their men, and they really dig craft projects.
Seriously, click on the link. Pinterest, a website with a 90% woman userbase, 100% validates women enjoy their femininty.
The extraordinarily toxic attitude of female leadership simply does not exist among most of the women I know. Perhaps that will develop over the years. I don't know. But even amongst those terrible women that earn more than their SOs, deference still exists and is still the norm.
So why all the talk about women trying to one-up their men?!
We'll get back to that.
But, key to my point, in my social group, Feminism does not prevent marriages.
Feminism actually helps these women, and that's key to my next point! But, first.....
V. What the hell is going on? Don't men really struggle to get dates? How are they all married now?
Oh, my simple man. Rollo covered this ground in more detail.
The men have risen in Sexual Value. We've filled out. We've trained. We've learned. We're more confident. We are all dramatically better than we were just 4 or 5 years ago. Most of the men have gained weight but most of the weight is muscle, believe it or not.
The women have all fallen in Sexual Value. Not dramatically, but perceptibly. Facebook is such an amazing tool, because you can look at pictures of girls from their college years and compare to how they are now.
There is simply no better tool to prove how men rise in SMV and women fall in SMV than Facebook.
So the men have risen, the women have fallen. So men have a somewhat easier time. End of story, right?
Not quite, because women have different goals in life now.
Stealing another Rollo concept, the Late Party Years.
What's actually happened is that women have entered a life stage where they are seeking to consolidate their handle over a man. Basically all these women now in relationships found men a few years post-college.
I've found that, post-graduation, women try their hand at continuing the college lifestyle. That makes sense at the time: more disposable income than ever, apparently more free time. Now we can really party and pursue all those hot men.
Reality sets in after 18-24 months on the new job. The constant demands of life drain women to almost nothing daily. The drinks expand waist-lines. The SMV decline manifests. The extra income actually benefits men more than women. The "dating" scene turns out to be a nightmare.
The women themselves do an immediate about-face and mellow out. They generally shit-test less, they approach less men, they party less, and become more amenable.
By the late-party years, women start to realize they do not want to party anymore or compete there anyways, almost like a mini-epiphany. They find a man who embodies at least a few arousal traits along with the attractive traits, and choose to Cash Out.
Practically all the women I know in happy relationships now found a man in their late party years and quickly consolidated control. Remaining single women feel major fear.
VI. Having your Cake and Eating It, Too
But why not just grab men in college when SMV is peaked out?
Because women really like to party, and really like sleeping with attractive men with almost no commitment.
So, yes, women enjoy relationships, and they can grab those with ease under feminism, believe it or not.
But feminism allows a delay in marriage. This means that women can enjoy their peak SMV years partying with essentially no commitment. They can behave as nastily as they want to weed out all unattractive men and focus only on the remaining few men.
That's feminism actually offers women, and most of these women love the deal. Obviously, they'd love for the deal to be even better! Let's extend those party years, let's make the Alpha guys buy me flowers during my party years, whatever.
But Feminism still allows women to party. So it's a huge win over what came before, which was a woman obligated to marry young and waste her peak SMV years on a man when she did not really need to.
Obviously, the most virulent feminism is destructive of feminine ends, which is why my 2 feminist friends are notoriously single. But even for them, the ideological comfort of Feminism is more valuable than marrying a SMV-peer, IE, an ugly fat dude.
VII. Ending Conclusions
So, what are we left with?
Feminism, in the end, really does not prevent women from enjoying lifelong marriages, should they choose to go that route. Women who still enjoy their femininity and know it can still find decently attractive men and live out their blissful white picket fence lives.
This is why the Upper Middle Class still gets married and still stays married.
So, returning to Scribblerg's statement and question:
I think a lot of women feel similarly disoriented in this “modern” world of the Strong Independent Woman...Who is it working for?It works for young women in college and peak SMV years. See, they do not WANT relationships, and they do not want marriages. They want to party. They want beta emotional sponges on the side. They want to leave relationships on a whim and monkey-branch to another guy. They want to have one night stands, with no judgements. They want to have anal sex with exchange students and cry rape when convenient.
Feminism isn't the end goal. The Feminine Imperative is the end goal. Feminism is a tool towards that goal. Feminism has been dramatically successful in increasing options for women to fulfill the Feminine Imperative.
Does Feminism always advance the Feminine Imperative?
If you embrace the Strong, Independent Woman archtype, you will alienate virtually all men and will not fulfill your life's mission.
But most women understand that, at an unconscious level. When the time comes, the biological script running in the back of a woman's mind will flip off the Feminism, and embrace something else. The end goal is satisfying the Hypergamous instinct.
The end goal is not Feminism.